You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize