Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
