I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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