Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
