Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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