my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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