It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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