just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
