He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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