carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
