i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
