with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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