i was born a porn star she said
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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