Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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