She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
