I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
