How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
