R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
ugly people sure do ruin things
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
