I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
