if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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