my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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