Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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