the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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