I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
