I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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