Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
