I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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