WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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