sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
