so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
