He is such a slut. More and more my type.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
