im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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