he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize