Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
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