Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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