You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My life is pants optional.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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