3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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