Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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