1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wish my penis had an off switch
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
