I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think people are normalizing furries
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
