The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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