He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
