that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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