She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
