i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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