worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I have already put on my inside pants.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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