i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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