Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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