I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize