First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
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i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
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I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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