Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
