Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
operation have a gay friend backfired
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
