Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
